Online therapy ~ Somatic psychotherapy
If you’re looking for someone to support you to find your own answers, you’ve come to the right place
Gestalt therapy
I believe in empowering you to find ways to deal with the ‘problems’ you’re facing. This can mean building ground in yourself, building your self-supports, building resilience so that the problem doesn’t consume you. It can also mean identifying triggers for certain issues and learning how to work with those.
If you’re looking or someone who can ‘fix’ you or ‘get rid of’ the things that trouble you in your life, I’m not that person. If you’re looking for someone who can support you through your discomfort, support you to build your own strength, your own ground and your own resources then you’re in the right place.
I don’t have all the answers and I will never be an expert on your life… only you can be that. But, as a gestalt therapist, I can facilitate change and support you to find your own answers.
What will serve you best is to come with an open mind, and a willingness to try something new.
How we work together
Build strength rather than focus on problems
The way that I work is not so much to focus on the problem, but to build strength to deal with the problem. Because there will always be problems. And very often the exact same problem shows up in different disguises.
Dealing with the problem offers temporary relief. When you feel the feelings that are associated with the problem, while being supported to face them, we can start to deal with the core of the problem.
Be supported
It can be quite difficult to face these feelings alone. Often there’s shame associated with them, or there’s trauma behind them. And when we feel, we get in touch with our vulnerability… which might as well be a four-letter word. In the western world there’s a large misconception that vulnerability is weakness. My experience has showed me time and again that, in actual fact, it takes a lot of strength to allow yourself to be vulnerable. And contrary to conventional belief, allowing your vulnerability brings strength.
In gestalt therapy we work somatically to build that base of strength so that when these problems show up you can deal with them from a grounded place. And that’s where the magic starts to happen… when you start to see yourself responding differently to a situation.
Our first session
In our first session together we’ll mainly focus on clarifying what it is that you want for yourself. We’ll identify what your preferred outcome is from working together.
It may be that you need support to make a big change in your life.
It may be that you would like to be able to relax in a social setting.
It may just be that you’d like to feel ok in your own skin.
My aim is to listen and understand what’s happening for you and find out what will serve you best.
From this we’ll make a plan that will work best for your sessions.
This is a time for you to check out if we click, to see if you can feel comfortable to talk about whatever you need to talk about. It’s important you feel safe and supported enough to experiment with new behaviours, and changes.
Bring your questions, your ideas, your frustrations and your longing.
It’s helpful to have realistic expectations about therapy. It’s natural to want an overnight miracle. Everyone wants that. Be prepared for some frustration along the way. It’s taken years for these behaviours you’re experiencing to form. It may need some time to change them. And it’s always possible to adjust and re-assess your purpose and expectations over time.
Online therapy sessions
Doing a session in a place where you can completely relax is definitely effective for your therapy. Your home is your domain, a place where you can (hopefully) relax fully. You can set the space up any way that’s comfortable for our time together.
Whether you live in a different region, work an inconvenient schedule, or have a health issue that makes leaving the house difficult, online sessions can be really convenient.
They can also provide a sense of distance that may help you to relax. In fact some people prefer to work this way because they find it easier to maintain a sense of themselves.
How to prepare
With our online counselling sessions it’s important that you create a safe, comfortable and contained space where you can do the session. A safe, contained space is one where you feel comfortable to open up and speak honestly about what’s happening for you. Ideally it’s a space where nobody will disturb you for the duration of the session.
Pets are an exception to this. I’ve found that having your cat or dog close by during a session can be a great support.
Areas of focus
Toggle 1 hidden
Anxiety
Are you tired of being constantly scared? I get it. Anxiety can be paralysing. And it takes so much energy to manage it. I’ve navigated through it, and I care deeply about supporting people to get a sense of relief from it…which is possible.
The anxiety counselling we do together is holsitic and embodied and addresses all parts of you.
Eco Anxiety | Climate Anxiety | Solastalgia
It could be argued that on our planet is experiencing ecological trauma right now, and that we, it’s inhabitants, are experiencing symptoms of that planetary distress. Symptoms like anxiety, despair, depression and grief. And that’s not surprising. It is completely understandable to be concerned about the state of our life support systems.
Feeling distressed about the ecological crisis is a sane response, not some pathology to be ‘fixed’. Getting support for the existential angst caused by climate turmoil can help.
It is my intention to give you the space to explore your relationship to the natural world and the climate crisis. We will consider questions such as:
- What is your relationship to the natural world?
- What are your responses to the ecological and climate crisis?
- How do you express your own human nature with the natural world and with others in your life?
- How is your relationship with the web of life that surrounds you?
- What is your relationship to something greater?
Stress
The modern world can be over-stimulating and stressful. Add to that any significant level of trauma and a stressed nervous system becomes the norm.
A stressed nervous system (or an activated sympathetic nervous system) happens when the brain’s amygdala sends a distress signal to the body. The adrenal glands respond by pumping adrenaline into the bloodstream. Running on adrenaline might be really productive in the short-term but it has serious implications in the long-term.
Counselling for stress can help ‘bring you down’ so you can relax and life your life fully.
Self-esteem, self-judgement, shame & isolation
Your self-esteem is made up of all sorts of aspects: your self-confidence, your self-respect, your belief in yourself, how much you value yourself, and more. Low self-esteem is very often accompanied by (and it could even be argued to be caused by) shame and harsh self-criticism. It can make you feel worthless, inadequate, essentially less-than for one reason or another.
And it’s lonely. Because when shame and self-criticism are active we tend to isolate, to avoid other people seeing how ‘flawed’ we are.
That’s not a way to live. And getting counselling for self-esteem means you don’t have to.
Embracing vulnerability
Vulnerability needs kindness and deserves respect.
There’s a fallacy in our world that vulnerability is weakness. What I’ve experienced is that it takes a lot of strength to be vulnerable. And allowing your vulnerability brings strength.
I’ve come across many men and women who know there’s something else available for them in life, they just don’t know what it is or how to access it.
I believe vulnerability is the doorway to that something else. Because when we can allow our vulnerability we can meet life fully.
Embodied empowerment
How would it feel to be connected with your body, to have your voice and be able stand up for what’s important to you?
How would it feel to know you are enough?
Many of us have had life experiences that caused us to disassociate from our bodies, silence our voices and reject our wildness. We’ve learned to stay quiet when we’ve wanted to speak out, to sacrifice our power for safety, to sneak and manipulate to get what we want.
Our world desperately needs role models who represent grounded, embodied, leadership. Are you willing to be one of them?
Embodied somatic psychotherapy can help.
Changes and transitions
Whether you are the one effecting a desired change in your life, or life has brought change to your doorstep, one of the critical elements in navigating the process of transition is having enough support. Transitions can be vulnerable times. The change we seek needs support. So does the change-maker.
“Anytime you’re gonna grow, you’re gonna lose something. You’re losing what you’re hanging onto to keep safe. You’re losing habits that you’re comfortable with, you’re losing familiarity.”
― James Hillman
ADHD
There can be many contributing factos that cause ADHD. And increasingly it is becoming clear that childhood trauma leads to behaviours and responese similar to ADHD-like symptoms.
We will work together to bring compassion and understanding to what you’re dealing with as well as tools and strategies to make living life that bit smoother.
Toggle 1 hidden
Trauma
Everyone experiences trauma. It’s part of life.
But there can be particular traumatic stresses in life that leave their mark, and cause us to feel helpless or overwhelmed.
Trauma can be caused by anything from emotional difficulties in childhood to a physically life-threatening situation in adulthood. A significant death or painful breakup can be traumatic. So can a humiliating event. Seeing something traumatic happen to someone else can trigger a traumatic response in us.
It’s your emotional experience of the event that’s relevant, not what society considers it to be.
Working with a trauma therapist can help ease the grip that traumatic experiences have on you. We do that work gently and slowly.
Eco empowerment
Facing our feelings around the climate situation rather than running from them builds strength and allows the heart to open. Our pain is a sign of our love. And love is the most powerful force in the universe.
Eco empowerment is very similar to relational empowerment. It moves the focus from ‘me’ to ‘the greater’ and supports us to act in service of that something greater. When we see ourselves as ‘part of’ systems and living inside those systems we often don’t feel so alone and overwhelmed by our smallness or some idea that we’re not doing enough.
Depression
Everyone experiences depression differently. The important thing is knowing that it’s normal to feel down when things are difficult. Even if there’s no clear reason why you’re feeling low that’s ok too. It’s not possible to be ‘up’ all the time. Like everything else in nature… we go through cycles, some wintery, some sunny.
Depression therapy can help you navigate through the vaied landscape of depression, because it’s different for everyone.
Navigating the world as a sensitive person
Sensitivity is not a defect. We’re all individuals. We all have our own ways of navigating life. Discovering and embracing your way is one of the mostly quietly empowering things you can do in your life.
Creating balance & ground
My experience is that when things are in balance relaxation happens, and when things are out of balance tension happens, sometimes to the point of suffering. Of course it’s not possible for things to always be in balance, because life is constantly changing. But having awareness around how and where your life can tilt out of balance is valuable information that can help you maintain a sustainable balanced ground.
Relationships (partners, family, friendships and work)
I believe that building and sustaining connections is central to our growth and health. And that relational communication is central to healthy relationships.
A relational approach to relationships involves working together to create mutually empowering and fulfilling connections with each other. This can provide an opportunity to learn to grow through giving and receiving from one another in a way that is balanced and mutual. What we’re working towards is interdependence.
Career change
Do you want to make a career change but don’t know where to start? You’re not alone. Not knowing where to start is the main reason people stay in a career position they’ve outgrown.
We use a structured strategic approach to identify what’s driving this change and what your next step is… whether that’s changing work environments, changing your role, changing career direction, or going it alone. Then we shape the path that will support the change to happen.
Hoarding
Hoarding, like addiction is an understandable response to a chaotic and unpredictable world. Accommulating things can have a calming or soothing effect, momentarliy at least. However it can be isolating, and at worst unsafe.
Traumatic events and developmental trauma can lead to hoarding behaviour. Hoarding therapy begins the process of working with that trauma in a gentle non-confrontational way.