Couples Therapy

When disconnection happens with the person we’ve chosen to spend our lives and share our hearts with, it can be uniquely painful.

And it can be particularly distressing because this is the place we go to relax, be soothed, get support.

Every couple has their own way of reacting when things get stressful, and that’s totally normal. And each relationship has its own unique patterns, it’s own way that disconnection happens. Our job is to identify those patterns.

There’s nothing wrong with you. And there’s nothing wrong with your partner. The pattern you both play out together is actually the source of the suffering.

Once you understand your pattern, we can break that cycle. Together we’ll unravel the dynamic and begin to put constructive strategies in place to support connection.

You’ll learn relational skills that will support your intimate relationship. And you might find as you learn these new skills (communication skills, emotional awareness skills, relational awareness skills) that your other relationships with friends, family and colleagues also improve.

My work with couples is informed by Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a transformational approach that helps partners heal relational trauma and build deeply intimate connections.

RLT recognizes that genuine intimacy requires partners to first reconnect with themselves—their authentic feelings, needs, and desires—before they can fully reconnect with each other.

This model addresses patterns of “one-down shame” and “one-up grandiosity” that create distance between partners, teaching couples to relate from a place of equality and mutual respect.

Through this practical, commonsense approach, I help couples develop the relational skills needed to move past cycles of conflict and create the connected, fulfilling partnership they desire.